Search for dimensions

That is the message. You just have to keep finding yourself, your dimensions. I had been told this line a lot of times but I never understood what it meant. Now while reading the biographies of Jobs and Gandhi, I am beginning to understand what it might mean. It probably means trying to find a way of life that has meaning for me, identify the tenets that I am going to live my life around, look for those interests that can keep me awake all night, develop my philosophical and  (probably) even a spiritual standing. And the only way to know all this about yourself is to experiment with different things while following your curiosity. I will like to bring up an anecdote from Jobs’ life. Jobs came to India, following his curiosity, to explore his spirituality. He tinkered with the idea of becoming an ascetic for sometime but then got drawn towards Buddhist and Zen ideas which stayed with him for the rest of his life. So for me the key learning is that its very hard to distinguish the right decision from the wrong decisions. Infact, there is no other way. You just have to experiment with stuff  and try to find one that suits you well. And all the while I have been doing this wrong , trying to predict if the choice I am making is the right choice, worrying what if I have taken a wrong decision.  You just can’t put an optimiser on such things, because there is no strict model and there is lot of noise ( MPC just does not work in such cases 😛 ). The same goes for Gandhi. He experimented with his diet, with his religious beliefs, with his philosophy, he tested and then accepted ideas. Doing wrong is often the only way of knowing what is right !! Or to quote Peter Buffet in Life is what you make it : “We grow up by messing up.”

Moreover,  this search deserves time. But it is so easy to put it at the bottom in the To Do list, to focus on more pragmatic things and even in fulfilling those desires that might not be truly our own ( more on this in a later post).